In a lot of ways I'm back where I started in college. The difference is the experiences I've had in between had made me a much more respectable person. I plan on living by myself the next year and honestly cannot wait. It definitely has occurred to me the whole loneliness aspect but I realized that my problem is not a fear of being alone, but rather a "fear of missing out", or FoMo. When I look at my friends situation, I realize that I have distanced myself (both on purpose and inadvertently) through my actions over the course of the last year or so. Despite this situation, I made a promise to myself to focus on success my last two years of college with friends being a bonus time passer and not vice versa. I'm in college with a goal in mind of learning what I can and acknowledging my fear of being left out of other people's lives has forced me to reevaluate the lives of my friends. They are fucking losers. No direction, can't be trusted, shady, drug addicted, motivation lacking. Strangely I still feel compelled to spend time with these people. I have torched those bridges to the ground and have emerged strong and happy in the midtst of it all.
Some random Muhammad Ali quotes that have spoken to me a lot lately:
"I'm not the greatest; I'm the double greatest. Not only do I knock 'em out, I pick the round"
"It's the repetition of affirmations that leads to belief. And once that belief becomes a deep conviction, things begin to happen"
the affirmations I have been repeating are:"I am the greatest, I am the smartest, I work the Hardest".